Worst day as a Messenger
No- Worst WEEK as a Messenger
I had just started a new job in New York. Not only was I intimidated because it’s a good company and I was damn lucky to have the job, I was also working with some couriers that I really respect, and I was anxious about pulling my weight.
I had already worked in New York for a few months, so I had gotten the basic jist of the city so the first two weeks didn’t go so bad. My boyfriend and I built a new work bike with a freewheel so that I could be faster and more safe on the road. I was really excited -things were going great. Until week number six.
Something bad -something fucking terrible- happened.
TUESDAY
“Cass pick it up.” Ricky’s voice was patchy over the radio.
“Go ahead.”
“Where are you? When I call you, you’re supposed to respond with your location right away.”
“Sorry I’m at 1501 Broadway.”
“Holding two?”
FUCK.
“No, actually I missed the 729 pickup, but I’m headed there right now.”
(seriously this is like a four block difference)
“You MISSED it?” His voice was strained.
“Yeah I’m sorry I just didn’t see it.”
“Ugh. Just forget it. Forget the Frankel pick up and just call me done.”
“…10-4” Shit.
shit
shit
shit.
fuck.
“Cass”
“I’m at MTI. Can you give me ten minutes at DVS?”
“For what?”
“I had to wait for the freight elevator?”
“Really? FIFTEEN minutes? For the ELEVATOR?”
“…Uh yeah.”
“Um… Alright…”
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
Later I walked into the office, and grabbed some manifest sheets off the desk.
“Whoa, how many manifests do you have there?” Ricky looked I had just pulled my pants down and shit on the desk.
“Uh, I don’t know, a few…”
“Cass, that’s like a month’s worth of work for you, put some of those back.”
These manifests only have room for 14 jobs by the way.
I walked out with two.
“By the way, can you oversize that bag from Broad going to 1211 6th?”
Without bother to look up Jon responds first: “NO.”
I am now freaking out.
WED
“Cass pick it up”
“Four Times Square”
“Do you remember a Brod job from the 21st? It was coming from 1775 Broadway. It was a check.”
“Of last month?”
“yes”
“Not really that was like my second week.”
“You can’t remember anything?”
“No… uh not really.”
“Well because it was a three thousand dollar check, they can’t find it, and no one works there by the name you have on your manifest.”
This is not happening. Please Kill Me.
“Um, I mean I always have someone sign. Unless I wrote Megan’s name since she’s always the one there.”
“Would you mind stopping by the office so we can sort this out?”
Thud thud. Thud thud. I am twenty four and about to have a fucking heart attack.
I walk into the office where there is a pow wow centered around my manifest.
“Is this your hand writing?”
I have seen enough CSIs to know when your being interrogated because they already know you’re guilty; they just want the satisfaction of being right of making you feel HORRIBLE for the bad thing you did.
I didn’t want to look at it. I wanted to give them my radio and go home.
“…Um I don’t think so…”
“THIS ISN’T YOUR HANDWRITING?”
“I usually write in all caps. I don’t even know what that says.” I’m panicking oh my god motherfucking christ fuck shit damnit. “Wait- that says Reigna I think. I think I remember Megan wasn’t there and I handed it to her.”
“REYNA?” He looks at the other dispatchers, “She spelled it wrong. You were lying it’s your handwriting. Who spells REYNA, REIGNA?”
Actually I went to school with someone who spelled it like that, but I guess I don’t get to tell you that. He wasn’t expecting an answer.
“Go deliver that. I’ll call you when I hear back.”
Brett chimed in that perhaps they could just reissue the check.
“It’s BROD though. I don’t want to explain this fuck up to them. ANY OTHER CLIENT…”
Oh god. I am going to get fired. I should just quit. I’ll move back to Portland. Shit FUCK. This is horrible.
Two hours later I got doored.
THURSDAY
I called in twenty minutes early.
“Did you find out anything about the Brod job?”
“No.” Ricky’s voice was unsympathetic
“Well I guess I’ll hear from you.”
Silence.
Guess I’m standing by.
I didn’t see the Alison Brod Office at all that day.
This is the part I like to call the icing on the cake, but not yet the cherry.
I picked up four jobs from one office with a nice little route going downtown. Determined not to fuck anything up I had woken up early, had a few cups of coffee and was keeping up a nice pace. Today I start over.
Going up the elevator into 75 Tenth avenue, I found myself short a job. OH NO. NO nonononononononononononononononoonooooooooooo. This is not hap-Fuuuuuuuuuuuck. This is sooo fucking ROOKIE. Jesus. ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod. It has to be in here. I dump the entire contents of my bad onto the elevator floor. Nothing. I’ve never lost a job ever. EVER. I even asked Luke once how it was possible to LOOSE a job. If there is a god he would cut the elevator cables right now and I would plummet to my death. If there is a God there is an easy way out of this. Unfortunately the elevator seemed to be in great condition.
I’m now crying at this point.
“Yo.” It’s so fucking obvious I’m the girl, I’m fucking crying.
“Holding one on 10th?”
“ugggh… I don’t know how this happened, I mean I’ve never EVER done this before, but I don’t have this package…”
There is an unconfortable silence that lasts about ten seconds longer than I can bare.
“Did it fall out of your bag?”
“No way no way. It has to be stuck to one of the other packages. I can drop this last one and retrace my steps.”
“Ok, just call me.”
THANK god that was Jon and not Ricky.
Seth holds back from telling me to just hand my radio in right then and there.
I retrace all my steps. Nothing. No one has seen this package.
Sometimes that chirp is soooo scary:
“Cass…”
“Hey I just traced all my steps I’m going back to OGroup to see if maybe i just left it there.”
“Copy.”
And you wouldn’t fucking believe it, but I had just LEFT the envelope on the desk. Picked up three, left one. I’m such a fucking idiot. So rookie. Rookie Rookie Rookie.
“Hey I got it, I’ll rush it down there right now.”
“Copy. Hurry up, it’s due in like ten minutes”
I never hear back about the Brod job.
FRIDAY.
It’s been resolved they’re just reissuing the check. Awsome. Starting over. New Day. Head in the game. No fuck ups. I’m good at this, gotta stop psyching myself out.
Around four O’clock I unlock my bike from 1290 6th and walk across the street to 1285 to stand by.
Twenty minutes later I go to lock my bike up at my next pick up.
NO key.
No fucking keys?!!?!?!?
Bawling. I am now just bawling. I go over my steps ask security about keys turned in. Nothing. I managed to loose in keys in ONE BLOCK. And of course I don’t have a spare. THAT WAS MY SPARE. Yeti’s piece of shit ferret hid my other key.
After the week I’ve had I decide to try to just finish up the job on me and call it quits for the week. But then, it gets busy. Of course it does because the entire universe is against me. I dont’ tell my dispatchers because, I mean.. would YOU tell your dispatchers after a week like that? I’m sticking my ulock between my spokes and HOPING no one steals my bike. And guess what? I finished my whole day that way. This is the one day nothing bad will happen.
Since I’m the new guy it was friday and I had to go buy the Rum for the mojitos everyone was already wasted from. Not a big deal, I stopped by the liquor store, kept the bike close at hand and headed to the office.
“YO WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? WE NEED MORE MINT.”
There is really only once place to get fresh mint and that’s at whole foods. Also our office is right next to whole foods; I’ll just take my bike downstairs then walk back to the store.
“YO WHAT THE FUCK IS TAKING YOU SO LONG?”
Jesus I can’t walk in there without the mint now. I’ll just fake lock the bike for the two minutes I’ll be in there. I threw my lock in the spokes and grabbed the mint. Five minutes later my bike is gone.
Stolen one block from my office at the very end of day. My brand new bike I just built with Seth, is now in the hands of some scumfuck and I am out three hundred dollars.
I walked back to the office, threw the mint and rum on the table, and went outside to smoke a cigarette.
That was my worst week as a messenger.